


I'm not him(navia songfic)

by JaneViolet



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: F/M, Im sorry in advance!, One-Sided Love, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 07:13:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13829133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaneViolet/pseuds/JaneViolet
Summary: I changed some of the lyrics of the song to make it more fitting.This is a natsu x juvia fic. I do not own fairytail or it's characters, it belongs to it's rightful owner.Navia fanfiction based on the song I'm not her.





	I'm not him(navia songfic)

**Author's Note:**

> Again I am giving a **warning** : there is a slightly graphic suicide scene.

_ Natsu’s pov. _

 

_ He's got blue eyes, long legs _

_ Soft Raven hair _

_ And I've got tan skin, pink hair _

_ Not what you wanted... _

 

“Gray-sama! Juvia baked cookies for you!” Juvia said as we walked back into the guild after coming back from our latest mission. I walked towards the bar and sat on the bar stool, pretending that I didn't want juvia to bake me food and greet me after I get back from a mission.

 

“How did the mission go?” Mira asks me after I had sat down. “It was boring! I didn't get to fight anyone!” I say as I let my head flop onto the bars surface. “Oh,that's awful, how bout I make you some food to make you feel better? I can make your favorite.” Mira says. “That would be awesome! Thanks, Mira!” I say giving her my signature smile. Mira smiles and nods before she goes into the kitchen to make my food.

 

I turn around in my seat and look around the guild. Lucy was talking to levy about some book, gajeel was sitting next to levy pretending not to listen while munching on metal scrapes, gray was talking with Lyon, who was visiting for some reason. I then spot her, hiding behind a pillar watching gray, like usual. I sigh.

 

‘ _ why can't you see that I love you? That I can treat you better then him? Damn it! Why did I have to fall for you of all people, juvia?’  _ I think as I gaze at her. I hear the door to the kitchen start to open, so I turn around on my seat. With one last glance a juvia, I turn around and begin eating the food Mira prepared for me.

  
  


_ Baby, I'm sorry. _

_ I'm not exactly what you had in mind _

_ But please just try _

_ If you do, I promise I'll change your mind. _

 

“Natsu, can I talk to you? In private?” Lucy asks me the next day. “Sure, Luce!” I respond and follow her outside. Once Lucy stops, she turns around and gets this serious look on her face. “Natsu, I'm going to get straight to the point, okay?” She asks, after I nod she continues, “I can see the way you look at her, juvia I mean. Now don't interrupt me. I can tell you love her, I can also tell that you just want her to be happy. So you aren't going to interfere with her pursuit for gray. I just want you to know that I'm here if you ever want to talk about it or to just hang out and get your mind off it, okay?”

 

“Luce...I…” I quietly say at a loss for words. I feel a tear make it's way out of my eye and down my cheek, then another and another before I know it I'm crying. I try to muffle my sobs behind my hands. Lucy pulls me into a hug and I clutch on to her. Lucy continues to hold me close while I cry my heart out. “Thank you...thank you, Luce..” I hiccup between sobs. “You're welcome, natsu. You're welcome.shh, I got you now..” Lucy says, slowly rocking me and running her fingers through my hair, but she never once let go of the hug.

 

_ And is it too much to ask to just feel wanted? _

_ Too feel the love I feel for you returned? _

_ And is it so wrong to think you could love me? _

_ I guess the problem is that I'm not him _

 

I had just climbed into Lucy's apartment through her window. I was now sitting on her couch looking at my hands, waiting for her to get done in the shower.  _ 'i should let her know that I'm here.’ _ I think as I open my mouth. “Hey Luce! Can I hang out with you for a little?” I yell just loud enough for her to hear me. After a moment I hear the bathroom door open. “I guess, but can you seriously stop climbing in through my window?” Lucy says as she walks out in a tank top and comfy shorts.

 

“But Luce what's the fun in that?” I pout. Lucy sighs as an answer to my question. Lucy walks over and sits next to me on the couch. “So what's up?” Lucy asks once she gets comfortable. “Just, well, you know...my feelings towards juvia and things like that, but I don't want to think about that right now. I was hoping you might be able to keep my mind off of that for awhile?” I say nervously, looking down at my hands again. 

 

“Of course. What do you want to do? I got a couple movies, most of them are horror, or I got one or two chick flicks if you wanna watch one of those.” Lucy says while walking to look at the movies she has. “Um...would it be weird to say I wanna watch a chick flick?” I ask, watching her grab two of the movies before walking back over towards me, coming to a stop in front of me. “Not at all! I've actually have been wanting to watch these with someone, but either their busy or not into chick flicks. So it's perfectly okay with me if you wanna watch one with me!” Lucy replies, “now you read the descriptions and pick one out while I go get us some food!” She then skips out of the room into her kitchen.

 

I look down at the two movies Lucy handed to me,

Easy A

Pitch Perfect.

_ 'they both seem interesting, but I think I'll pick this one…’  _ “hey Luce I picked one, I'mma go ahead and get it setup, alright?” I slightly yelled so she could hear me. “Yeah go ahead, I'm almost done with the food!” I hear her say back. I put the movie that I didn't pick back on the shelf and opened the other one up and put it in the DVD player. After I had put the movie in, Lucy walks out of the kitchen carrying a tray with 4 bowls on it. Once she gets it down, I can see that it's two bowls of vanilla  ice cream, one bowl of tortilla chips, and one of salsa. “Luce, how did…?” I trail off.

 

“I saw Mira give you this one day while you were sitting in the corner on the day that a lot of the guild was gone on missions. I kinda figured that you didn't share with many people that you like this snack.” Lucy shrugs. I lean over and give her a hug. “I swear you are fucking perfect. Whoever ends up with you are extremely lucky.” I say as I released my hug.

 

“Hehe,yeah…”lucy says trailing off. I notice it right away. “Lucy, what is it? Wait let me rephrase that, who is it?” I ask. Lucy looks over at me and cracks a small smile, “it's...laxus, I just...I don't know how or why, but I fell in love with him. Plus his team invited me to go on a mission with them and yes, laxus is going as well. I don't know if I should go or not.” Lucy says looking up at the ceiling. “Luce, I say you should go and if you happen to be in a situation that allows it, then you confess to him and don't if he rejects you, I'll beat him up until he realizes he would be lucky to have you!” I say and smile a really big smile, even if it's a fake one.

 

She giggles a little, even while a tear slips down her cheek. She brushes it away, “thank you, natsu. Well now that we've had a very cheesy heart to heart, let's watch this chick flick!” Lucy says and smiles at me. I smile back and chuckle a little, “yeah, let's" I say.

 

_ He's got a shy smile, soft hands _

_ Perfect little dimples _

_ I've got baggie pants, rough hands _

_ Everything is simple. _

 

_ 'damn it, why can't juvia look at me the way she looks at him!’  _ I think as I walk across a bridge after leaving the guild. When I was about halfway I stopped and rested my crossed arms on the railing of the bridge. I look up at the moon,  _ 'i just want her to be happy, but it hurts so much, I don't know how much I can't take off this heartache. Even if I'm the one causing it’  _ I think. 

 

I look down at the water below,  _ 'i wonder what it would feel like? To die, to not have to feel the pain or heartache anymore. To finally be free from all this torture.’ _ I look up at the moon and try to imagine what it would be like to be free. I can almost taste the freedom it would bring, but before I could start to get ready to jump, Mira came out of the guild.

 

“ So that's where you disappeared to” she says as she walks up to stand next to me on the bridge. I look over at her, “ yeah, had to get away for a bit.” I respond. Mira nods in understanding,”yeah, they can be a rowdy bunch.”  we stand in silence for a moment. “Well how bout we head inside now, yeah?” Mira suggests. I nod and follow her in. I almost immediately found juvia all cuddled up with gray. I feel like salt was just added to the stab wound that pierces my heart. I look away and walk over to the bar and order a tall flaming beer.

 

_ 'maybe I can drink my problems away? Yeah right, who am I kidding!’  _ I think as I down my beer, ordering another one.

 

_ Baby, I'm sorry _

_ I'm not exactly what you had in mind _

_ But please just try _

_ If you do, I promise I'll change your mind _

 

_ And is it too much to ask to just feel wanted? _

_ Too feel the love I feel for you returned? _

_ And is it so wrong to think that you could love me? _

_ I guess the problem is that I'm not him _

_ I'm not him _

_ I'm not him… _

 

Finally, the day has come that the pain of heartache hopefully ends. I've got the letters all written and placed neatly on the desk in my room. I glance at the time,  _ 'time to start going to the bridge, otherwise I will be stopped.’  _ I think as I begin my walk towards the bridge. Once I get there I look at the time once more before I take off my scarf and tie it to the railing of the bridge. I sit on the railing and swing my legs over. I stand on the small ledge holding on to the railing behind me. I wait until I hear juvia’s voice yelling out my name, then I let go of the railing and fall forwards. As my body hits the water, I feel a sense of security, I'm leaving this world by something close to juvia. As my lungs burn from lack of oxygen and too much water, I see my vision beginning to darken as I sink towards the bottom of the river. Right before I let darkness consume me, I see a shadow swimming towards me. Then all I see is black….

 

_ He's got blue eyes, long legs _

_ Soft Raven hair _

_ And I've got tan skin, pink hair  _

_ I was never what you wanted… _

  
  
  


_ Juvia’s pov. _

 

Juvia finally got permission to accompany gray-sama on a mission! Juvia is with gray-sama and his team, and we are on our way to go get natsu-san for the mission. When we get there, we see the door is wide open. “Stupid flamebrain, can't even remember to close your door.” Gray-sama scoffs. Erza takes the lead and walks in, the rest of us follow her in. “NATSU! Let's go! It's time for the mission!” Erza yells into the quiet house. Juvia spots natsu-san’s bedroom door wide open, so she walks over there and peeks in. Natsu-san's bedroom is empty, so juvia walks into the room and looks around. Juvia walks up to the bed and looks at the nightstand. There are 3 letters laying there. Juvia picks them up and walks back into the living room where the rest of the team were at. “Look what juvia found!” Juvia says as she stands next to gray-sama. Juvia looks down and sees that one of the letters is addressed to her. She puts that one in her lap and hands the one addressed to the team to Erza.

 

Erza begins to read the letter aloud so everyone can hear. By the end of the letter everyone is crying, Lucy is sobbing in erza’s arms and juvia is biting her lip to keep from sobbing, but little wimpers come out still. Juvia picks up the last letter and sees it's addressed to the whole guild, juvia gives that one to Lucy. “ Why don't you take this one to the guild? To let them know that…”juvia trails off. Juvia looks down and remembered the letter addressed to her, juvia picks up the letter and reads it to herself. 

 

Juvia gasps and through the letter at gray, as she ran out the door. A little after juvia ran out, she could hear the rest of the team come running out. They caught up with juvia and Gray yelled at Lucy,”go to the guild and get Wendy to the bridge! Fast!” 

 

Juvia didn't care about that though, all she could think about was getting to the bridge before natsu-san jumped. Juvia came into view of the bridge and saw natsu-san standing on the ledge. “NATSU!” Juvia yelled. Right after juvia yelled natsu-san let go of the railing and began to fall. Juvia pushed herself to go faster. Gray was about to jump in after him, but juvia beat him to it. 

 

Juvia used the water around her to speed towards natsu. She wrapped her arms around natsu’s waist and used her magic to rocket her and natsu to the surface. When juvia and natsu were finally on dry land, juvia saw wendy. Wendy rushed over and began to try to heal him. after what felt like forever but was only a minute or two, she stopped,”there's too much water in his lungs and it's to dangerous to use magic to get it out!” Wendy said. 

 

Everyone was starting to lose hope, but juvia wouldn't. Natsu-sama has done so much for juvia and the guild. Juvia tilted natsu's head back and opened his mouth, confusing everyone for a second, “magic is to dan-” juvia cut Wendy off, “I'm not using magic.” Juvia then bent down and put her mouth over natsu-sama’s. I breathe air into natsu-sama's lungs twice. Then I began to do chest compressions.

 

“what are you doing?” Lucy asks with a tear stained face. “ I'm doing what non-mages do to get water out of another's lungs, non-mages call it CPR.” Juvia says, then repeats the process of putting air in natsu-sama's lungs. Juvia began doing chest compressions again, after a little while natsu-sama began coughing. Juvia rolled natsu-sama onto his side. Natsu-sama starting coughing up water.

 

After a little, The cough began to subside, but he remained unconscious. Wendy then checked to see if she could heal him and guessing by the fact she hasn't stopped, she must be healling him. After a few minutes of Wendy healing natsu-sama, Wendy stops her flow of magic. “He’s stable, but we should still get Porlyusica to check him out.” Wendy states. The master nods and has gray carry natsu-sama to the guild.

 

~Later~

 

Porlyusica comes out if the infirmary room with a grim expression, “while you managed to keep him alive, Juvia, I don't think what I have to say is something any of you want to hear. Natsu has slipped into a coma, one that he has a very slim-to-no chance of waking up. I'm sorry.” Porlyusica turns and walks out of the guild. Juvia, having already sorted out her thoughts and feelings, glances at gray asleep in Lyon’s lap before going in to natsu-sama's room. Juvia sits in the chair next to natsu’s bed, not knowing exactly when she would move from that spot, but knowing she wasn't going to move until natsu woke up.

 

“Please wake up, juvia needs to tell you that she loves you back, natsu-sama…” Juvia quietly said while grabbing natsu-sama's hand.

**Author's Note:**

> 2,756 words. Thank you for reading my songfic and I love feedback! Even if it's negative! Negative feedback helps me improve my writing skills and helps me create my own personal writing style that works for both me and my audience.
> 
> With much love,  
>  Jane Violet~


End file.
